Away........

You are not here and not a moment has passed when I dont feel your presence.I think about you, talk to you, smile at you,wink and share and feel all that I feel when you are around.
I read somewhere that you should not be around somebody you should not love.... You should not love me....You are not around.
The circles of rights and wrongs, justifications, allegations and clarifications continue in my mind. I dont know what you feel and what you think. I dont know what it is and what it will be....
I dont belong here, I should not be around, I should be a nobody for you, I am like this black ominious stain on the clear beautiful sky filled with pride and joy.
I embarass you, I make you feel guilty, I take you away from what it is. you should not be around me.
And yet why do I wish you were here, that you belonged here, that you were mine, that I could give it a name, that I could have you forever and that this would "last for a lifetime and not just a lifetime of a dream".
What I have with you is beautiful, more beautiful than anyting I have ever had and perhaps more baeutiful that I will ever have. I never felt so special, I never had this beauty, I was never so happy.....
I wish I could have it forever..... I wish I could die right there.
I wish we could go away...
We will go away but in different directions...