Look Back .....

"I really wish I had a car today" you said. It was raining.... "I wish I could drive while holding your hand. I wish I had lots of stuff in the car." You smiled "especially food, and a warm blanket".
"We would drive on and on......."

I have lived your thought a million times.

The water flowing off the windshield, casting shadows as mystical, as vague, as discerning as the thoughts in my mind. The trees forming our shielding canopy, fresh after a shower, showering abundance and blessings on us. Your hand in mine. An occasional glance at you. Your smile. The look in your eyes....
Like always we were quiet, in our own worlds.. far away... Yet so close........ One....... Whole.....

Lived it all over again. The rain, the lights, the food, the amazingly warm blanket, the trees... all there. Just as I had lived it in my thoughts.

There was no hand to hold..... No glances to steal... No smile..... No eyes... No faraway thoughts... No one beside me.... Alone... Empty....

And yet I could feel your presence. Hear your voice, Hear your smile, look into your eyes.

But I still wish you were here. . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .