.............

Its strange.... its eerie....


I am dead tired. I have sleep in my eyes have tried several times but I am unable to sleep.
I dont want to think about it. I know its bothering me. I dont want it to bother me.
I want to leave this and move forward. I know it. But still am crying to my pillow.

Is this some kind of a jolt to wake me up. What does it mean. What should I make of it. What should I do now?

I am confused, I am upset, I am lost, I am hurt.

I want someone to tell me its OK. That its not about me. That I will be fine.
There is no one to do that.

Whenever someone asked me whats your biggest fear.. i would say loneliness.
I can now see what loneliness means.

I really want to talk to some one. any one......
Just scrolled my phonebook. There is no I can call at this hour of the night. No one that would know or understand wht this means.

I really want to take my mind of this.
There is nothing I can do. No Movie on my laptop. TV not recharged, Cant concentrate on the book, Too unsafe to go out, no one to talk to....

Feeling helpless.

Even this blog dosent help.