A visit to the Soothsayer

I had never even imagined that I would go to an astrologer. I know and believe that astrology is an exact science but never really trusted that Celtic predictions could be true or hold meaning. I firmly believed that what had to happen..... had to happen and there was no point knowing. If your stars had sealed your fate, so be it.

Some time back I visited one.

Why would some one want to know whats coming? To know when a bad phase will end. To gauge whether an agreement is destined to work. When will wealth flow? Why is someone ill? What is the future of my loved one like? There can be a million reasons.

I did not have any.

A friend just mentioned turmoil and we decided to go.I was a little unsure, a little nervous, a little anxious and a little bit of me was even excited....

We entered. It was not what I had expected. No red tilak on the forehead, no rudraksh beads, no long birth charts. No puja mandir. It was a pleasant home. A very courteous lady and a laptop.

I went first. Cited my date, time and place of birth and waited. My head was working in a frenzy.Probably I was processing in my head what I wanted to hear. Hoping she would say this. Say that. But say what? I couldn't pin point. I went red in my face. My ears were burning.

She looked at the charts, then at me and smiled. She asked me. "Beta, what do you want to know ?". I didn't know what I wanted to ask or even why I was here. ........

I shrugged.

She started............... I really wanted to grasp and hold on to every word she uttered but I felt like there was this membrane surrounding me that wouldn't let me understand, let me absorb what she was saying. She went on... I wanted her to continue and to stop at the same time. I wanted to know more... Know why... know how. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to condition my actions. I didn't want to know what to expect. I wanted life to go on as is.....

I was overwhelmed.

It took me a long time... rounds of reasoning..... acceptance and denial to understand and make peace with what life has in store for me.

But I am at peace now.
A lot calmer.
I have answers to questions that don't exist.
A direction to nowhere. ...................


I was a life changing experience for me....